Current mood:

contemplative

crossdressing reaction
I am not sure how it makes me feel.
I had been so scared of it that actuly doing it
especaly in front of other people
is a definate accomplishment

and I got anouther you are the same person male female or whatever, I have good friends
(but I am not sure if I am the same)

I remember realy likeing skirts the 1st time I tried one on
now I have a bra that can be stuffed giving the phantom boobs an analoge in reality

I think I was expecting to become instently and horrably addicted
so It is kinda a letdown

I know everytime I try to convince myself I am male I get suicidal
but was that just because I hadn't made peice with my female self?

I have looked at the pictures I took a few times
sometimes I think I look nice othertimes just wierd
but when could I ever decide anything?

do I need more female clothing to experiment further or do I need to write this chapter of my life off as a learning experiance and failed experiment and of course they are both wronge I need time to sort it out.

hmm I wonder what male feels like I would think being male bodied I would know but I know a way that feels feminine to me (can't realy be someone else for comparison) and a sort of nutral neither, so I need to keep that in mind tha answer to are you male or female might be no I am not.

I guess I am just recording this, it will probly be like my early trans tests posts and looked at by me as a sopt of confusion that realy seems kinda silly now but was needed to get me to this point.